I have arrived back in my home country, Brazil, in the 12th of October 2012 after spending 369 deeply introspective days living and surviving in Britain.
Apart from the fact of them being deeply introspective, they were also, and maybe because of that, very productive. The exotic environment proposed a leap in the procedures employed in my work and my very understanding of it.
I do not know, to be honest, if it has become better or worst. This only the surrounding time of the future will judge. I, however, am sure to have become a better man. I have become conscious of my mortality and the fragility of my existence, although I suffer from the ever weakening disease of being young.
The environmemt and the experiences have enrichened me and the work has changed, reflecting the terrain and the evolution of the artist as a living being.
Nevertheless, since I came back, I have no longer experienced the bliss of constructive and active creativity. I have only been able to produce one single work and nothing more. My notes in my sketch book have become very rare and my artistic apetite to eat the world has weakened to the point of almost disappearence. It is the distress of the vacuum. I have even questioned, for the first time, my condition as an artist.
My wise tutor, Dr. Craig Staff, that has been a strong guidance since the day I met him has helped me in my understanding and acceptance of this vacuity: "The artist is like a crop: sometimes the soil needs to rest so it can, once again become fertile."
Here is my hope.
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